Wines I Have Loved: C&D's 2005 Top Tastiest Juices
Da Bomb Whites of 2005
2005 La Yunta Torrontes ($9)
Region: Famatina Valley, Argentina
Importer: Southern Wine Group
Profile: White peaches and grapefruit slices served by Cherubic tots dressed in white.
Critter on Label: Two headed llama. Or one llama behind the other. Hard to tell.
Music Match: Polyphonic Spree, Even if You Hate Them
2005 Crios Torrontes ($14)
Region: Mendoza, Argentina
Importer: Vine Connections
Profile: Sharon Stone in Saint Tropez, her body smoothed by lanolin, lunching on tropical fruit
Critter on label: No
Music Match: Astrud Gilberto
2004 Handley Cellars Gewurztraminer ($16)
Region: Anderson Valley, CA
Local Distributor: Virtuoso Selections
Profile: Passing out backwards into a bed of rose petals and spice. Perfectly semi-dry.
Critter on label: No
Movie Match: American Beauty
2004 Reverdy Sancerre, Cuvee "Les Coutes" ($25)
Region: Duh.
Profile: Flint, flowers, fruit and focus
Critter on Label: F*ck No
Movie Star Match: Catherine Deneuve, 1983
2004 Lake Chalice Reisling ($15)
Region: Marlborough, Australia
Importer: Via Pacifica
Profile: Take a stainless steel knife. Chop limes, kiwis and honeysuckle blossoms. Lick the knife.
Critter on Label: Yes
Fun Match: Petting electric eels
2003 Casalfarneto Fontevecchia Verdicchio di Jesi DOC Classico Superiore ($16)
Region: The hilly center of the Marches
Profile: A little mineral-citrus princess. Will instantly convert all white wine haters.
Critter on label: Sort of.
Music Match: St. Ettienne
2000 Livon 'Braide Alte' (Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Picolit, Muscato Gialto, $35)
Region: Friuli Venezia Giulia
Importer: Eurowines
Profile: A heady, mad tangle of rich, stinky, glorious, verdent, buxom strangeness that will blow your little mind.
Critter on label: No
Music Match: Dissonant Jazz Trios
Da Bomb Reds 2005
2003 Baroli Langhe Rosso 'Anna' ($13)
Region: Piedmont
Profile: Young, refined Nebbiolo for under twenty bucks. Fan-freakin'-tastic.
Critter on label: Please.
Music Match: Giacomo Puccini
2003 Valle Dell' Acate Poggio Bidini Nero D'Avola ($13)
Region: Sicilia
Importer: Vinity Wine Company
Profile: Nero D'Avola the way the Lord intended. Dark. Brooding. Cocoa and tomato leaf. Begs for sausages and tomato sauce.
Critter on label: Nope.
Song Match: 'Spellbound' by Siouxsie and the Banshees
2003 La Corte 'Solyss' Negroamaro ($14)
Region: Puglia
Importer: Leonardo LoCascio
Profile: Smokachocoherbaberrylicious
Critter on Label: Certainly not.
Food Match: Charred Flank of Beast
2001 La Calonica Vino Nobile di Montepulciano ($22)
Region: Tuscany
Profile: Manly, elegant, ageworthy
Critter: Yes. Two actually: a lion and a griffin.
Movie Star Match: Sean Connery eating a porterhouse
2003 Saint Cosme "Les Deux Albion" Cotes Du Rhone ($19)
Region: Duh
Profile: Oh, she is complicated, silky, deep and syrah-y, and will not tolerate being called a mere CDR.
Critter: Oh, for God's sake.
Model Match: Isabella Rosselini, 1990
2003 Bodegas Luan 'Equis' Unfiltered Cuvee ($10)
Region: Tierra de la Castilla, Spain
Importer: Eric Solomon
Profile: Big, spicy fruit makes you feel all nasty and naughty inside. The absolute biggest kick that ten American bucks can buy.
Music Match: The Beastie Boys
2004 Barahonda Monastrell ($10)
Region: Yecla, Spain
Profile: Herbs, Berries, Minerals, Licorice, Attitude. Another whip-ass ten dollar Spanish beauty.
Critter: No, goddammit.
Food Match: Roasted Goat
Da Bomb Bubbles
H. Billot Fils Grand Cru Brut Reserve ($55)
Region: Champers
Importer/Distributor: Michael Skurnik Wines
Profile: Rich, yeasty, nutty with fine, abundant frothy goodness. All Pinot. Why pay more?
Fun Match: Gettin' Busy in da hot tub
Carpene Malvolti Prosecco ($18)
Region: Conegliano, Veneto
Profile: Zippy, light, sexy and quaffable. Every year they hold a contest to create the best prosecco recipe.
Music Match: Esquivel
Avinyo Cava ($12)
Region: Cava, Espana
Importer: De Maison Selections
Profile: Smooooooth, light, dry and finessy. That's right, I said finessy. Made from a host of Cava varietals with unpronouncable names.
Fun Match: Getting Aunt Ellen buzzed enough to pull her pantyhose off over her head.
Clinkies.