White wine whiners, please wise up

What will the Italians call Tocai Friulano when they can no longer use the term 'Tocai'? It will be called 'Friulano', which doesn't really have the same ring to it. 'Tocai' sounds like something your hot, half-dressed lover whispers in your ear. Why the Hungarians got to be so stingy with it? There's enough words for everyone to share, people. But never mind that now.

Let me reiterate: if you're a real wine lover, you love white wine, too. Period. If you come into my store and sample a white and whine: "Aw, I dunno, I'm just a red wine person," I will no longer refrain from snorting at you. You can say "I haven't really found a white wine I like yet," because that's perfectly understandable. There was a time in my life when I thought I disliked white wine. I had tried what I thought was a fair array of styles (cheap U.S. Chardonnay, cheap U.S. Sauvignon Blanc, cheap U.S. Pinot Grigio) and they had all left me with a queasy stomach. I will note that I was much younger than you when I saw the light, so please, get with the program already. Jesus.

What made me see the glory of the golden grapes was my introduction to the incredible world of Italy. I tasted a Greco di Tufo, I think it was. I had no frickin' idea that I could eschew flabby, semi-sweet plonk that required sub-zero serving temp to be palatable. I could, instead, have crisp kisses of citrus, vivacious minerality and be refreshed and charmed.

2004 Casa Zuliani Tocai Friulano

Gambero Rosso Awarded 'Winemaker of the Year' to this producer, and this particular juice, along with a couple of its bretheren, made the red 'due bucchiere', which basically means "almost tre, baby". And you can taste the love. She's a pale yellow number, bright and crisp, big aromas of citrus rind, white flowers, almonds and minerals. Long, seductive finish full of sassy acidity. She paired beautifully with white cheese bits, rosemary crackers and The Colbert Report. If this were the first white wine you'd ever tried, you'd be whining about red wine. Because I know you. You like to whine.

Clinkies.