And he shall be Livon, and he shall be a good wine...

It's no damn fun being all stuffed up from allergies, especially when there's a whip-ass wine tasting to attend. Last Saturday, our friend Marco Calligaris from Livon winery in the Collio (on the coast of Friuli-Venezia Giulia) was in town to show off his wares. I almost didn't go, I felt so bad, but I thought: what has ever been wrong with me that a little wine couldn't fix? So I doffed my work clothes, donned my cutie duds, and drove out to Siena restaurant.

Even though my palate was off, I had just enough sniff power to pick up what these beautiful wines were puttin' down.

Livon, owned by brothers Valneo and Tonino Livon, has labels in Friuli (Livon, Villa Chiopris, and Tenuta RoncAlto), Tuscany (Borgo Salcentino) and Umbria (Col Santo). We had a chance to taste from Friuli and Umbria. While I liked some better than others, it was really a matter of style preference, because all of these wines are crafted with meticulous care and none can be dismissed. The '04 Gambero Rosso offers reserved praise, saying they were "suprised" that a tre buccieri emerged among them (Livon's 2000 Tiare Blu Gran Cru) since "we have come to view them as eternal bridesmaids at the taste-off wedding". But I think the big, elegant styling of the Friuli wines are perfectly lovely, and the line of easy drinking whites have beautiful aromatics and are well worth the price.

Here were some o' my faves:

2002 Livon Collio Tocai Friulano

Dreamy floral aromatics. Dreamy, I say. Like a bunch of fresh white flowers, several of which have bees sitting in them, puzzling over their brief but decadent lives. Crisp, fresh and clean.

2003 Livon Collio Pinot Grigio

This one had dreamy aromatics, too, but more fresh clover and melon. Maybe a white flower in there, too; a teensy one. Full bodied and smooth.

Livon 'Picotis' Schiopettino (current release)

Dusty rose nose. Or maybe it was dusty camilla, not sure with the allergies and all. Light bodied with bright acidity. It made my minted lamb loin baaaa with pleasure.

2000 Tiare Blu Gran Cru

This is the tre buccieri winner, the bridesmaid who got herself laid. This bordeaux style blend of Cab, Merlot, and Cab Franc (new french oak) was very good, but I gotta tell you, it was not my style. Am I allowed to say that? Even as I know this wine was immaculately balanced, I still didn't care for it. Ezra says I probably don't like Cab Franc, but it beats the hell out of me. The attack was still too "fruity" for me, even though I know damn well it wasn't vinted to be that way. Probably all the snot blocking my little olfactory epithelium. Or maybe I just don't know wtf I'm talking about. Who said I did? But I'd drink that Schiopettino first any day. Sigh...you can take the the girl out of the trailer park....

BraideAlte Gran Cru 1998
(The blend is Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay, Verduzzo, and a touch of Moscato.)

Jerry and Marco decided to show this wine after all the reds to prove that it is a Queen Bitch worthy of their company. You must try this wine. Rich, fuller than any stuck-up Cal Chard, unctuous, with a nose full of all those stanky, naughty aromas: petrol, freshly pounded grass, cut white onion, hot candle wax dripping onto sweaty skin, sticky honey. This is a fascinating wine. It reminds me of this girl I had a crush on in high school who was voluptuous, mysterious, droll and sexy. Imagine stealing away with a girl like that, into a dank grotto still damp from a rain, and having her show you the ways of lusty abandon. That's this wine.

Livon 'Cumins' Picolit 2002

Oh, sweet Jehosephat. This is some serious nectar right here. If you have never tried 100% Picolit dessert wine, you haven't lived, sister. Another of the Lord's requests when He's in the mood for something to sip while trying to decompress from the day's dealings with Terrorists, famine, war and Republicans, this is indeed a liquid that ought to be served by fat cherubim wearing silken panties.

I'm so spent now.

Clinkies.